Hi Oxana, In the meantime, I am concerned about something and thought you might have some advice that would help.
At one point I found myself corresponding with a total of seven ladies. I believe in honesty, so I made the point of always being clear that I was corresponding with other ladies. Over time, that number has dwindled to just three, each of whom seem really wonderful and special in her own way. I am torn over two different points of view. On the one hand, it seems appropriate for me to get to know multiple ladies so that when I go and meet face-to-face, I will have better odds that there will be "chemistry" with at least one. I have been afraid that if I write to one lady exclusively and then find no chemistry in the personal meeting, then it all will have been a waste of my time and money.
On the other hand, each of these ladies is wonderful (according to correspondence), and I do not want to hurt any of them. I fear that each might feel that she has found "chemistry" with me and will have break hopes if we meet in person and I have to say that, after all the correspondence and the meeting, I prefer someone else. I am sure you have seen this kind of situation before. Do most guys narrow it down to just one lady before making a visit? I donot believe that you can truly determine a "soul mate" from letters alone - you must find if you have personal chemistry face-to-face. But I really do not want to hurt any of these three ladies. Can you offer any advice on this?
You are absolutely right. There is no way really to determine if there is chemistry with the woman until you meet her. I always advise guys to keep their options open and talk to several ladies before they go over there and meet them.
Most of the women do understand that it is a very difficult and serious process to find the right person that is why there is no mistake allowed, so everyone has to have an option, possibility to choose and compare.
Unfortunately the rate women to a man is much higher in any dating agency, that is why sometimes women feel offended if man writes to other ladies, on other hand a healthy competition is a good thing. If the woman is very interested in a guy she will understand and compete as well as will make everything possible to win his heart.
If you want to be honest with the ladies you need to explain them the reason of you talking to several women, that your intentions are very serious and you are here to find a long term relationships, a wife, that you are not here to play games. If you choose the right words to explain this subject, then you will win in a long run.
But sometimes, it is better not to bring up this subject unless you asked.
Oxana Gaertner – the owner of Russian Dating agency “Oksanalove”
And a second letter
Hi Oxana, I just have a question for you concerning the trip. I am in correspondence with another girl besides (girl’s name) and wanted to know your opinion. Is that common for someone to take a tour and meet with more than one woman? I really find it hard to choose without actually meeting but at the same token do not want to seem like a womanizer which I am far from. I am prepared to just meet with only (girl’s name) as I broke off many correspondences because we are meeting. Do you think (girl’s name) would be upset if I told I was going to meet with someone else besides her while I was there? I am just at a loss and have no clue how I should handle. I like both women but if I had to choose one. Even if they are both ok with it, I do not know how I would divide my time while I was there. Do have any suggestions for me? I would appreciate any advice you can give me!
Yes, Brian, it is absolutely OK to meet with the several ladies during your
romantic tour. Any objective girl also understands that it is life time decision, although sometimes it can be offensive to know that there is competition. As far as I know (girls name) is very serious about you, so in your case I probably wouldnot say anything to her at this moment. I would suggest you to ask (girl’s name) if she wants to meet you at the Airport with our driver and then spend hour or so with you talking when you arrive. Watch for every sign and body language, her reaction to anything you say or do. Your heart and soul will tell you what to do.
Spend day or so just with her (if she will be free) and go to different places, see things, look how open she becomes to you and if she holds your hand - if she is getting close to you.
The first meeting - If the girl is open to you, she will try to get close to you, she will smile and will try to hold your hand; she will be asking how you feeling and if you are tired, she will try to make you to get relaxed.
If she is cold to you, doesn’t seem to be very talkative, then probably it is not a good sign.
If you feel that you got a good connection between each other and if she
wants to meet you at the Airport, then we can arrange in your apartment (in
case you decide to stay in the apartment instead of Hotel) a bunch of roses,
bottle of champagne, maybe candy. It is kind of romantic for a first meeting. Get with you some romantic presents
(see gift / presents ideas). Give her this present when you get to the apartment and again watch how she will react. If you get a warm smile and gentle spark from her - then it is great.
So, this is your first task for your first day / night.
Then you need to talk to my office managers, just come by my office and have a talk with them. The next step will depend pretty much from your first experience and first
meeting. My people will advice you on what better to do in your situation
once they see what is happening to (girl’s name). They will also talk to her and will
try to get her impression of you that is also important. Sometimes girls feel shy and uncomfortable expressing their first impression of a man directly to his face, but the ladies always contacting my office and share their emotions and impressions with my employees.
So, sounds like OK plan for you?
Call me if you have more questions.
Many of guys who look for their Online Russian brides in the Internet usually date few of them in the same time. Why men having serious intentions behave like this?
Some of the guys seem really confused in their decision making regarding choosing a girl from a big number of pretty women’s profiles on the “oksanalove”
online dating agency web-site. All of those fabulous ladies also look for someone to share the rest of their lives and they also can be selective in their preferences. That’s why many guys ask: can I or should I correspond with one lady or several of them at the same time.
Gentlemen who are so keen to find his special online Russian bride feel a little discomfort when dating few brides online. But at the same time they perfectly understand that they have to make a lifetime decision and choose the right one to trust their destiny to.
People may have different points of view on this issue what actually makes the thing worse. It makes guys torn over prospective with no confidence which’s correct.
On the one hand, for some guys it seems appropriate to get to know multiple ladies so that when they go for a face-to-face date, they will have better odds that there will be "love chemistry" with at least one. Some afraid that if they write to one Online bride and then find no chemistry in the personal meeting, then it all will have been a waste of their time, money and the most important – end of their dream.
The most complicated thing for guys dating several Russian brides online is that each of these ladies is great, and men do not want to be wrong or hurt any of them without knowing in person. Some fear that each might feel that she has found "chemistry" with him. Any guy who simultaneously experiences several online affairs can get an increasing sense that each one of his ladies is feeling that their written relationship is becoming exclusive.
It’s very common that a man usually starts his online wife- search being in touch with multiple girls who he thinks as potentially having a chance to be the queen of his heart. Than, most of the guys narrow it down to just two or even one lady before making a visit. It just naturally happens that during the long months of correspondence some girl may find another guy whom she thinks is more alluring for her. Some guys intentionally do The Three-Way Conference Calls when they need something more to make a decision than just connection through the Internet. They do it if they want to get rid of some doubts or if they find any concerns in the relationship. It greatly helps to man to get an idea about lady’s intentions and her feelings toward him. So, when a guy orders a call in the agency he accounts to guess things from what he hears and than, he is also able to follow the girl’s reaction in a live talk.
However, do the ladies understand that their online fiancés may date other girls from their agency as well? The girls usually guess they are not the only brides their men writing to. But they also truly understand that as for themselves as for their men it’s a lifetime decision and the right choice can be vitally important. That’s why all the ladies try to be as much sincere as possible. They all believe in their uniqueness and really hope their true nature and personality are going to work. Many of them the same as their men believe that they can truly determine a "soul mate" from letters but still the face-to-face date is needed to find the personal love chemistry.
So, the best advice here can be – just listen to your heart. And if it says that this is the special person you were looking for to get merry with, than go for it. But if there still some little doubts, and you want some insurance, than choose another one female whom you find interesting and you feel you would like to know her better. And than, while visiting your Russian bride you can also have another date that will make yourself comfortable and confident with your decision.
For dating several Brides online you can visit
the cheapest and best way to write several women at a time, which helps fiancés to interact with multiple girls at a time and spend the least amount of money and time.
Oxana Gaertner owner of “Oksanalove” a Russian online dating agency